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  • Writer's pictureAdam Roszco

Two Weeks Til 40

by Adam Roszco. Photo from Hamid Roshaan (

You read that correctly - your favorite nerdy bookworm wordsmith Seattleite is about to turn FORTY!

There's a conversation that comes to mind when I think about turning 40. It was at a now defunct bar with my former best friend, one of the best human beings on the planet named Josh. I was bitching about the fact that I couldn't get anyone while others were being swamped with guys (sadly, I still sing this tune today. However, it is no longer cute, it's just pathetic).

Josh took a swig of his mostly vodka and whatever drink. Looked at me and said, "Wait til you're 40. The twinks will come out of the woodwork and call you daddy. It's great!" I think he had just turned forty months before saying that.

In gay years, to most, forty is a death mark. It's when you become one of those creepy guys leering and salivating at the beautiful pounds of man meat gyrating seductively on the dancefloor before you. Or you buy some pound of beef drink after drink after drink just to have something young and in-shape to grind on you, reminding you that there is a little flicker of life left.

In my case, I am definitely not looking forward to it. Not in a, burn this house down kind of way. More like, this obnoxious fly won't go away kind of way. I have no plans for this once in a lifetime milestone. It'll just be another day for me. No wild nights out. No bar hopping. No sweating on the dancefloor and then regretting it the next day when my knee is throbbing from the exultations.

It'll be a quiet one as most birthdays become the older you get. My family is spread across four states and I have not made a friend group yet here in Seattle. I'll likely buy a Godzilla movie on Vudu and make some redneck margaritas (the only thing making them redneck is they are served in red Dixie cups). Probably order Mexican food and then enjoy a luxurious nap. Naps have become my favorite activity of the day. I laugh at my much younger self who fought naps like it was a death sentence. Today, they are the best thing ever.

While I choose a quieter approach to 40, some choose more adventurous times. More sexual times. More people filled times. To each his own. Just enjoy it, no matter how you choose to celebrate your milestone year. Fill that heart with joy my dear reader.

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